Hey everyone! Life Coach Carisa here. As we approach the final weeks of the year, the holidays often bring a mix of joy and stress. For many of us, the season can feel overwhelming—filled with endless commitments, gatherings, and responsibilities. While it’s natural to want to make the holidays special for everyone, it’s equally important to protect your own peace and well-being.
I’ve been there myself, saying yes to everything, overcommitting, and eventually feeling drained and resentful. A big part of this was my own people-pleasing tendencies—wanting to make everyone happy at the cost of my own needs. But over time, I’ve learned that setting boundaries is not only essential but also liberating.
This holiday season, let’s explore how setting boundaries can help you feel more aligned, peaceful, and present.
1. Recognize When Boundaries Are Needed
Often, feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion, or resentment signal the need for boundaries. Take a moment to reflect: where are you feeling stretched too thin, or sacrificing your own well-being?
Example:
Perhaps you feel obligated to attend every holiday gathering, even when you’d prefer to spend a quiet evening at home. Or maybe you overspend on gifts to avoid disappointing anyone. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward creating change.
2. Get Clear on What You Truly Value
Boundaries become easier to set when you’re clear on what truly matters to you. Think about what makes the holidays meaningful for you: is it quality time with close family, self-care, or giving back in a way that feels authentic?
Example:
If you find large holiday parties overwhelming, prioritize smaller, more intimate gatherings. Or, if giving back is important to you, intentionally block time to volunteer with your family rather than saying yes to every event. When your actions align with your values, the season feels more fulfilling.
3. Practice Saying ‘No’ Gently but Firmly
Saying no can be challenging, especially if you’re used to saying yes to everyone. But when you say no to something, you’re actually saying yes to something else—like your peace or quality time with loved ones.
Example Phrasing:
If you’re invited to an event you’d rather skip, you might say:
“Thank you so much for thinking of me. I’m keeping things simple this year and won’t be able to make it, but I hope you have a wonderful time.”
This kind but firm response allows you to protect your boundary while remaining polite.
4. Be Mindful of People-Pleasing Tendencies
Many of us say yes out of a desire to avoid disappointing others. But this can lead to feelings of inauthenticity and disconnect. By prioritizing your own needs, you’re not being selfish—you’re creating space to show up as your best self.
Reflection:
Think back to a time when you said yes out of obligation. Did it leave you feeling drained or resentful? Now imagine how it might feel to say yes only to the things that truly align with your values.
5. Accept That It’s Okay to Disappoint Others
Even when you set boundaries kindly, some people may still feel disappointed—and that’s okay. Remember, you’re not responsible for managing other people’s feelings. Honoring your truth is more important than meeting everyone else’s expectations.
Perspective Shift:
When you prioritize honesty, you’re not only being authentic but also modeling a healthy way to communicate. People who truly care about you will respect your boundaries, even if it takes time for them to adjust.
The Cost of Not Setting Boundaries
Without boundaries, we risk stress, burnout, and disconnection from the things that matter most. When we try to meet everyone else’s expectations, we often end up depleted and resentful. By setting clear boundaries, we protect our peace and create space to enjoy the season with presence and joy.
Your Challenge for This Holiday Season
Take some time to reflect on these questions:
- What truly matters to me this holiday season?
- Where do I need to set boundaries to align with my values?
- How can I communicate my boundaries with love and authenticity?
Boundaries are a gift you give yourself—and ultimately, they allow you to show up more fully for the people you care about. This holiday season, let’s embrace the freedom that comes with setting boundaries and create space for what truly brings us joy.
For more tips on living intentionally and managing holiday stress, check out my video How to Set Boundaries for a More Peaceful Holiday Season. And if you’re ready to dive deeper, let’s connect for a complimentary clarity session where I’ll help you design a life filled with peace, purpose, and resilience.
Wishing you a peaceful holiday season!
Ready to get started? Visit LifeCoachingwithCarisa.com and download my FREE Transformation Toolkit today!
If you’d like to listen to these tips check out my video on this topic.
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”
Brené Brown