This idea of coaches is top of mind for me because, over the past month, I’ve been watching my daughter who will be a freshman in high school this year try out for the women’s high school soccer team. I’ve watched her work with the various coaches and I have seen what impact they have made on her just over this short period of time. They have provided her with training tips. They have given her feedback on her performance. They have given her positive reinforcement that made her light up and wants to try that much harder at a sport she is already very passionate about. For her, the coaches are a guide on her journey. 

So what is a coach? Very simply, it is someone that instructs or trains another. Typical responsibilities are teaching relevant skills, tactics, and techniques. I’m certain we would all agree that we see the value of good coaches working with our kids. I’ve recognized that there are elements to the coach/player relationship that as a parent I could not provide. 

Have you ever wondered why for the vast majority of adults, the concept of having a coach seems to disappear? To be left behind with the days of schooling and our education ladder as a student. 

The truth is there is always room to learn and grow. No matter how old you are. No matter whether it is your profession or your personal life. 

At the beginning of 2020, I had never even heard of a life coach. I admittedly was someone that thought coaches were just for kids…elementary, high school, and yes even college. Now I did have a knowledge of business coaches from my time spent in business but at my level of work, it was not common practice by any means. 

Little did I know I would encounter multiple life coaches on my journey. Once I became aware of life coaches I had the optimistic thought, maybe they can help me. I’ve shared parts of my story from time to time. By the time my mid 40’s arrived, I was not in a great place emotionally & physically. The years of living the emotionally dysfunctional ways I had placed me in this position of feeling depressed, unsatisfied, and fragile. It had impacted my family (I dealt with some dark times with our teenage son), my work, and most importantly my emotional peace. From the outside, I hid it pretty well. Well, maybe I thought I did. I would just go around looking for someone else to share my woes with so they could tell me how they felt for me. As if that was doing anything but repeating what I needed to heal from. 

I vividly remember driving to work every morning and having this routine prayer I said out loud. It was me pleading with God for him to take away this pain, solve this problem, and help me know where to go. I felt so lost and stuck. As is always said, answers will come but not in the timing we may have in mind. Answers and opportunities would come and I believe my being able to recognize them and pursue them was a gift from my God. 

I remember confiding in my doctor at the time and was placed on some anti-anxiety medication to see if that would help me. It was a good first step. I recall feeling like a cloud had been lifted. I thought that would be the one answer I needed, but I would soon find out there was much more that I would need to do. 

What more I needed to do was to go within and confront these childhood emotional scars and traumas and allow them. To look at them more closely and allow forgiveness and compassion for that past version of myself. I also needed to retrain my brain. I had to overwrite these patterns of thinking that were not serving me. 

I immersed myself in the world of life coaching and during my journey of self-healing decided this is exactly what I wanted to do for others. To take all my experiences and use them to guide others on a path of healing as well. 

One of my first coaches was able to see the flaws in my thinking and how many of those thoughts were holding me back from my full potential. When I feared setting big goals for myself, she asked me why I was afraid. When I worried about what might go wrong, she asked me what if it goes right. When I tried to hold strong to my viewpoint, she challenged me that there was another way to look at this. No one had been able to connect with me like this.  

And through my journey is when I realized we all could use a coach in our lives. Someone not personally attached to our stories and is not worried about challenging our long-held beliefs. 

From my personal experience, I will share with you what a life coach did for me. 

1. Helped me identify my limiting beliefs.
2. Challenged my thinking and assumptions.
3. Supported me in creating greater clarity around my passion & purpose. 
4. Supported me in defining and getting focused on my goals.
5. Held me accountable.
6. I learned how to be more fully present. 
7. I increased my productivity. 
8. I learned levels of self-awareness I never experienced before which developed into confidence. 
9. I took steps to improve myself as a human being. Letting go of unhealthy judgment, envy, impatience, and perfection. 
10. As a result, I created more peace and contentment in my life.

A coach did not replace my need for spirituality or belief in the grace and healing of my God. I felt like I was finally tapping into gifts that had been given to me and I was using them now to help others. 

All the painful experiences I had now had a greater purpose. These were not punishments bestowed on me. They were opportunities to grow beyond the comfort bubble I was living in and go out into the world and help people see their inner pain and struggle differently. To guide them with actual tools for healing and growth. 

I am grateful to all the life coaches that supported me in my journey and still support me today. I put importance on working with a life coach every week because the learning and growth never stop. There is always more I can work on to become a truly grateful and compassionate human being. 

If you or someone you know is struggling. I hope you will suggest the idea of a life coach to them. You never know if it could be that one thing to help you move forward in your journey.

“The interesting thing about coaching is that you have to trouble the comfortable, and comfort the troubled.”

Ric Charlesworth