I wanted to offer some support to anyone who wants to make changes in their life and finds themselves struggling to even get started. Or to stick with it when things get challenging, or get so close and can’t reach the finish line of what it is they want to change.

Change is hard! How many times have we heard that? But….change is absolutely necessary for survival. So I want to share some reasons why your brain finds change so hard. Not you. Your human brain. I will share how to identify what it is you want to change. And lastly, I will share ways to get some momentum going when it comes to the change you so desperately want to make. 

So let’s talk about why change can be so hard for us. 

Change is hard because of one HUGE overarching reason. There is a part of our brain that is focused on conserving energy to keep us alive. Let’s not downplay that. This is a fact. Your brain wants to keep you alive. So it does what is needed to accomplish that. It conserves energy so that at any moment you will have the energy needed to potentially save your life.

As you form habits and patterns for how you function in your life, your brain creates neural pathways so it can be efficient to repeat these quickly and easily. It doesn’t distinguish and know if these are bad for you. It will create the pathway because it wants to conserve energy. 

Our amygdala is hardwired to resist change. It interprets change as a threat and will release hormones for fear, fight or flight. Doesn’t that tell you everything as to why it is so darn hard to make changes in your life?

You cannot change that instinctual part of how your brain functions. So, we must learn how to work with that. Mental comfort is a real thing. This is the part that we are not taught in school. We learn we have a brain. But we don’t learn techniques for how to get the most out of our brain. Everything we purchase typically comes with an operating manual. Right? Well, we never received an operating manual for this sophisticated brain of ours. So I want you to leave with a better understanding so you can take charge and bring yourself some much-needed relief. 

Next, I want to talk a little bit about how to identify what you want to change in your life. The reason why you need to think about this is because when you are going up against that brain I just described you can’t come into it with a knee-jerk plan. You need to think about this deeper. Use your intelligent brain to decide what it is that needs changing in your life and then have a gameplan of how you will navigate this. Writing these things down on paper is a great way to make an impact. Remember, your brain is resisting the change you want to make. If you had a boss who was resistant to any change you wanted to make, wouldn’t you walk into their office with a game plan of how to state your case to give you the best chance of success? Would you walk in and say I want to make this change and just stand there? No, you would have a list of reasons why the change is important and what can come as a result of this change. So, look at your brain no differently. You need to get your brain on board, and writing this down is one way to solidify the power behind the change. 

So get very clear on what specific aspect it is you want to change. Do you want to change your habit of being late to work? Do you want to lose 10 lbs of weight off your body? Or do you want to lose 2″ off your waist instead? Do you want to stop feeling so negative? Do you want to increase the amount in your savings? What is the change you want to make? Sometimes, this may need to be broken down into micro changes. That can be very helpful in honing our focus. You need to be honest and focused with this. The harder the change, the more preparation you will need to consider. Addictions such as alcohol, food, and drugs have a physical hormonal connection to our brain so you can’t go into this without a plan.

OK, so I have talked about why change is hard and how to get focused on what you specifically want to change. Let’s talk about how to create the momentum to change.

I know this is not going to make you feel warm and fuzzy, but here is a big one. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. If we know change is resisted by our brain, then we know we are most likely not going to be comfortable in this process. It’s ok, it doesn’t have to be comfortable all the time. You have a higher reason why this change is important to you and why it needs to happen. It doesn’t have to be enjoyable to keep moving forward. As your brain becomes familiar with this new plan, it will slowly ease up and give less resistance. As you break down walls, you will have more capacity for change. 

So let’s list this out. 

-Understand and acknowledge how your human brain works. 

-Identify the specific area of your life you want to change. 

-Dig deeper within yourself and have a firm belief in why you need this change to happen.

-Create your strategy. Get micro with it. Break it down into small actionable steps that can build your momentum. 

-Make a commitment to yourself and keep it. If you misstep, there is no beating yourself up, you just dust off, move on, and try again. The only failure is in quitting on your goal. 

-Be in tune with yourself and notice when you don’t follow through or you are struggling. Be kind and supportive, and coach yourself back on track. 

Okay, so that sounds simple and easy, but my friends I know it isn’t easy. But it is worth it. 

Since the fall of 2020, I have made so many changes in my life that it actually makes my head spin when I sit and think about it. 

I stopped drinking. 

I stopped overeating. 

I stopped being depressed.

I stopped being so negative.

I eat healthier. 

I improved my physical labwork.

I left my family business and changed careers. I started a new business.

I stopped overworking and created a work-life balance.

I started to dream and have more fun in life. 

I improved my relationship with money scarcity. 

I improved my relationship with my husband. 

I improved my relationship with my children.

I improved my relationship with myself. 

I implemented a self-care routine that includes physical exercise and mental support.

I am more grateful.

I am less judgemental. 

I don’t get easily bothered. 

I am more patient. 

I learned to feel my emotions rather than buffer against them. 

I learned to love my body as it is. 

I have released stored trauma and pain from childhood.

I encourage myself to not stay in my comfort zone and to try new things that challenge me.  

I am always looking to improve what doesn’t feel in alignment. So the journey never ends. I love being aware and modifying what doesn’t serve me or contribute to me being a positive individual doing good in the world. 

So this is doable. I am not any different than you. Yes, we are told change is hard. But I am a living example that it can be done.

Spend time visualizing and reinforcing why this change is needed and matters to you. Don’t tie the goal into a belief that life will be better when. The truth is that life is still going to be 50/50 when you get there. This is just something you want to improve in your life because it matters to you. What it does bring is a sense of control, optimism, and peace in your life. 

If you or someone you know is struggling to make a change in their life please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.

“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end”

Robin Sharma